When Therapy Isn't Working: What To Do and Why
It's a common misconception that therapy is an unbreakable commitment, but the reality is that you are in control of your therapy relationship. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, it just doesn't feel like the therapy is helping you. This can be frustrating and even emotionally taxing, especially if the therapist reacts poorly to your concerns. Here, we explore what happens if therapy just isn't working for you and what steps you can take.
The Human Element in Therapy
Therapists are people, and as with anyone, they can have their own issues that they bring to the therapy room. It is important to recognize that a therapist’s reaction to your situation may be more about their own personal or emotional state than about you. If your therapist becomes bitter or upset at you for not finding therapy helpful, it usually indicates that they have a problem they need to address. They should neither take your feedback personally nor be so emotionally invested in their role that they cannot maintain a professional stance.
Why Ending Therapy is a Smart Move
Therapy is, at its core, a transactional relationship. As such, it operates under principles similar to any other service. If a service is not meeting your needs, it's perfectly reasonable to stop using it. You do not owe a therapist any further visits unless you have financial obligations. Sending an email or writing a letter to communicate your decision is often a better option than discussing it in person. If the therapist continues to argue or become emotionally upset, that may indicate that the therapeutic alliance is not salvageable.
Key Points: - You can end therapy at any time without explanation. - The only obligation you have is to cancel future appointments and pay what you owe. - Email or letter is the safer and more professional way to communicate your decision.
Addressing Ethical Concerns in Therapy
Unfortunately, not all therapists are ethical or competent. Clients often assume that licensed professionals are inherently competent, but this is not always the case. Unscrupulous therapists may lack the necessary skills or ethics, and without accountability, they can behave recklessly without regard for the harm they may cause.
The Reality of Unhelpful Therapy
Even when a therapist has the necessary skills and ethical standards, a poor match can happen. Some clients simply don't connect with a therapist, and therapy may not be the right fit. This is not a reflection of your worth or value; it's simply part of the unpredictable nature of human relationships. If therapy isn't working, it's important to trust your instincts and prioritize your mental health. Dumping a therapist who is not meeting your needs can often be the best course of action.
Why You Might Want to Dump a Thermo: - The therapist is not taking your feedback seriously or becoming defensive. - You feel retraumatized or betrayed by the therapist. - The therapist is not providing any long-term benefits.
Conclusion: Client Autonomy and Positive Outcomes
Ultimately, you have the right and the responsibility to seek the best care for yourself. Trusting that therapy is a transactional relationship and you can terminate it at any time is crucial for your mental well-being. While therapists may still see clients disappear and maintain their practice, your mental health and personal goals should always be your priority. By prioritizing your needs and seeking a more supportive therapeutic environment, you can transition to a more effective therapeutic relationship that truly benefits your mental health and well-being.