The Biblical View of Choosing a Life Partner: A Divine Guidance or Personal Choice?

A good marriage is not made in heaven but on earth. It is based on reality and respect for one's self and the partner. While the Bible offers guidance on the proper union between two people, it is ultimately up to individuals to make their choices. In this article, we will explore the Biblical perspective on choosing a life partner and the role of God in this process.

Allowing for some divine intervention, the Bible emphasizes the importance of a solid relationship with Jesus Christ. Genesis 2 states, 'Leave, cleave and become one flesh,' which emphasizes the concept of leaving a previous life behind and surrendering to a partner. Genesis 5:2 states, 'Male and female created He them and blessed them,' suggesting a divine blessing on the union of two people. These commandments set the foundation for a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Similar Backgrounds and the Role of God

Marriage between partners who have similar backgrounds has a better chance of success. Through historical and contemporary examples, such as the advice from notable religious figures like Billy Graham, it is clear that God plays a significant role in the formation of families. Graham advises, 'The home only fulfills its true purpose when it is God-controlled. Leave Jesus Christ out of your home, and it loses its meaning. Take Christ into your heart and the life of your family, and He will transform your home.'

From a Biblical perspective, a believer should marry a believer. This union is described as a 'partnership in faith,' implying that their spiritual journey is shared and mutual. On the other hand, it is not advisable to be unequally yoked together with a non-believer. As the Bible suggests, God has someone picked out for you, either in this life or the next, except when He has predetermined that you will best serve Him as a single person. However, God's choice can only be revealed if you are open-minded and have the eyes and heart to recognize it.

Understanding the Process: God's Role vs Personal Choice

The Biblical perspective on choosing a life partner can be complex, with both individual choice and divine guidance playing roles. Just as the Bible describes God bringing all the beasts to Adam to choose from, the process of choosing a life partner also involves discernment. Adam was expected to learn what he wanted and reject what he didn't, without compromising himself.

Similarly, a man must understand that he is seeking a 'fertile garden' that can grow and develop into a meaningful and fruitful relationship. This process requires significant effort and unconditional love. He needs to teach his partner how men think and feel, as women tend to assume that men share the same motivations and values as they do. The relationship should be built on a foundation of mutual understanding and respect.

Husbands, as the metaphorical gardeners, must be committed to cultivating their garden, caring for it, and systematically removing the weeds. This requires persistence, determination, and, at times, even forcefulness. The husband must insist and persist, never compromising, and insist on the garden's submission to the divine will. This represents a constant, reliable center of love, to which the wife can either belong or resist, thus defining their relationship.

Just as lions do not know about gardening, so too do men need to learn this art. It is not a natural instinct; it is a learned skill that requires time, effort, and sacrifice. By becoming the best gardener possible, a man prepares himself for a fulfilling and fruitful relationship.

Conclusion

The Biblical view of choosing a life partner emphasizes the importance of divine guidance and personal choice. While God plays a significant role in the process, individuals must also make informed decisions based on their personal values and needs. Understanding and respecting one's partner's unique needs, while cultivating a relationship built on mutual respect and love, is key to a successful and fulfilling marriage.