How to Open Up to Your Therapist: Overcoming Self-Consciousness and Building Trust

Introduction: Opening up to your therapist is not always easy, especially if you feel self-conscious or lack trust. Therapy is a journey towards healing, and building this essential connection can help you get the most out of your sessions.

1. Acknowledging Your Self-Consciousness

It's perfectly normal to feel self-conscious when discussing personal issues with a therapist. When you first start therapy, you may find it difficult to speak openly. Saying something like, 'I feel a bit self-conscious when talking to therapists,' can be the first step towards addressing this barrier.

If your current therapist isn't making you feel comfortable, it's important to communicate your feelings. You don't have to put up with discomfort. Remember, finding a therapist who makes you feel safe and respected is crucial for your healing process.

2. Finding the Right Therapist

Therapists are trained to handle and work around non-verbal communication, drawings, and typed messages. Someone close to you might have used drawing or typing to communicate with their therapist for years. Trust and comfort are key, and if you don't feel safe, it's okay to ask for a referral or another therapist.

3. Understanding the Power of Pain

It's important to understand that change can be uncomfortable, much like going to the dentist. You move from one chair to another when the pain of remaining in the current situation becomes unbearable. Similarly, in therapy, you will eventually open up when the discomfort of not sharing becomes too much.

Insurers often push for progress and might discontinue coverage if progress is not evident. While this can feel pressuring, it reflects the reality of the healthcare system. Skilled therapists are patient and slowly build trust. However, opening up sooner can lead to faster healing.

4. Building Trust and Communicating Honestly

Ensuring the Right Match: Trust is the foundation of successful therapy. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable with your therapist, it's essential to communicate your feelings and seek a new therapist if necessary. You should feel safe and respected in your therapeutic environment.

Communicating with Your Therapist: Sitting with your therapist and talking like you're having a conversation with a new friend can help build rapport. Discuss your feelings and be honest about your expectations. Trust takes time to build, but it's worth the effort.

5. Processing Past Trauma

If you have experienced previous bad experiences with therapy, it can take time to regain trust. A therapist's absence or "ghosting" can deeply impact your willingness to open up. Processing this past trauma can help you build more openness and trust with your current therapist.

Openness is a journey. It's not about being more open about their behavior or about increased disclosure. It's about finding what feels right for you. Are you ready to be more honest about their behavior, or do you need to increase the level of disclosure with your therapist? Determine what you are comfortable with and approach it at your own pace.

Conclusion: Opening up to your therapist is a gradual process. Trust, comfort, and honesty are key components. If you're struggling to open up, it's okay to seek a different therapist or work through past trauma. You deserve a therapeutic environment that feels safe and supportive. Remember, you're not alone, and healing is possible with the right support.